work while lying prone on the sofa - my mind isn't in peak condition so the code may be a little shabby. The pelvis is playing havoc with my not bloody old enough to be in this condition body.What I have discovered though is that in this weird little black hole I have created myself there is someone else here. Sometimes it might feel dark and scary and when I have my eyes shut so tight I can't see a thing, there is actually another person who is able to reach out a hand and grab a crowbar to beat the monsters with.
I may have been having a bit of an airy fairy day yesterday, but deep down I meant what I said between the many many lines. I don't like people in general, they frustrate and upset me. Mostly, I just want to be left alone. However the rare few individuals who have taken time out to step back and not just see the mask but pry their fingers under it and feel the flesh underneath have been met with the love that only my little girl is capable of. Beneath the grown up exterior, the little girl has been able to offer without fear or embarrassment nor the need to announce it or for reciprocation, complete unconditional love for these precious few. Because she has found the courage to do this, that feeling has seeped over into the grown up who feels less pressured and is able to close her eyes and instead of seeing the things that scare her, feel a peace not felt in many years.
Look up into the sky. Find your favorite star. Now keep watching it until it disappears. It hasn't gone; you just can't see it.
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